The Plot Thickens

(Ben reviewed a zombie book for Small Town Books, Wendi is cranky about Christmas, Kate got a brand spanx-ing new dress and Laura is sick of tidying up. Check them out!)

So it's no secret I'm a fan of Christmas. Christmas movies in particular as I'm partial to activities that require a lot of sitting around doing nothing. I've been slowly pulling out the seasonal movies since mid-November and can now officially go whole hog and just watch Christmas TV 24/7. Because the networks have started their Christmas specials...I have to say, Showcase and the W Networks are the best. All of their movies have really long titles like 'Exactly What She Wanted For Christmas' and 'He Knows When You Are Sleeping...', that sort of thing.

Yesterday I spent a lot of time watching movies. We all did - snow day. I l0ve snow days still. I feel like I'm getting the day off from something even though I'm not at all. Anyways there we were, all of us still in our pj's watching movie after movie. Miracle On 34th Street - about a young girl who really wants a 'family'. 'All I Want For Christmas' - about two kids trying to get their divorced parents back together in time for the big day. 'Jack Frost' - now this one really sucked. First of all...I don't know what the hell Michael Keaton was thinking. He used to be a moderately decent actor. In this movie he plays a dad reincarnated as a snowman. An utterly unwatchable snowman who makes bad jokes about his balls. Point being though...another movie about a single parent family.

I started looking through my Christmas movies and realized how many of them are about fractured families. Meaning single parent families. Children wishing on a star that they could have a 'real' family with a dad and a mom and everything. Gee whiz, Santa, I'd sure like a real family! Golly, that's be super!

Because families with just a mom or just a dad aren't real. We're just illusions, placeholders until the real thing comes along. And I guess movies about regular families are dull...I have to admit even I'd rather watch a movie starring some adorable little girl finding her daddy a girlfriend by Christmas. I've been brainwashed, I admit it.

Still, just once I'd like to see a movie I can connect with. Say, about a gloriously beautiful (right? RIGHT???) single mother who is making lists of presents on the backs of envelopes all over the house, restructuring budgets and trying to remember where she put that stupid box of outdoor lights. A woman who has two exes - slut - and not just one. And she might even be friends with them both. They might even be good dads who love their kids and make lists of presents themselves. And they might all work out how to give the kids a good Christmas between them. Probably none of them ever, EVER wants to be reconciled by their meddling kids. And maybe her kids don't want to find themselves a new daddy by Christmas. Because they've already got one, broken in and all.

And somehow, despite the divorce and everything, they are pretty happy with things just as they are.

Actually..that movie sounds dull as shit. Never mind.